Long time no see

Okay. It's been about four weeks since I've last posted but I can't really be blamed. I've been too busy over the past few weeks to have the time to update this blog. Also, I've been way too tired. It has just been work, work and more work. Heck, I just got back into Singapore only on friday. Currently having a short break right now. Maybe a few days more of rest here before I head back to Malaysia and continue working. Of course, this idea of a break wasn't my idea. My Father had suggested. He said something along the lines of if I don't take a break soon, I would snap. As to the correctness of that statement, that remains to be seen. I think I could've continued all the way but it's a but hard to moniter myself. I mean, it is tiring, but I think I could handle it. anyway, I'm back in Singapore now so I might as well make the best of it. I'm considering jumping to Bali for the next few days to relax but I wonder if I have the time. I'll have to check the schedule.

And before I forget, the Father assigned to me is a billion times better than the previous ones. This time, I only got one Father. Guess the Agency figures I can handle myself. This Father actually talks and behaves like a normal human being. I can actually have a proper conversation with this guy. Due to security reasons, we don't talk about personal stuff so that leaves world news. I'm telling you, everyone should have a chat with this guy. He brings a totally new spin on certain issues. And he's funny as hell. Definately much more fun than the previous stuck up pricks. One more thing, this Father actually points my mistakes out. I learn more that way. About two weeks ago, I was tailing the target with my car. I thought everything was cool and going well until Father pointed out that I was driving a rolls-royce. Now, you don't see many rolls-royces in Malaysia so driving that car was as good as pasting a sign with "Look here!" on my forehead. It's the little things that could screw everything up. I got out of there as fast as I could. Don't think the target got a good look at me.

The target is a fifty year old guy. Sounds like a useless old fart right? Wrong. This guy is a real pro. Not like the newbie who I took out the last time. This guy knows people are pissed with him and want his balls. He's being cautious but still manages to live his life. He likes hanging around in crowded places. Makes recon a bitch. And he is very mobile. He has about ten safe locations located all over Malaysia. There are probably more. He jumps from place to place constantly and keeps an irregular schedule. Even after a month of following him around, I still have no idea how to take him down. I don't have a location because I seriously have no idea where he would go next. Looks like a few more weeks of surveillance for me. Hopefully, I can see some sort of pattern. I have about four weeks left. I think that should give me enough time.

This time, I'm not going to use a knife. It's really cool and professional to use a knife but it takes a lot of skill. I don't think I'm at that level yet. It'd all turn out to be a real mess, just like the last time. And I can't afford to screw this one up. It looks like I would be using a gun for this one. Or a bomb. Still haven't decided. I'm leaning towards a bomb. That would get me a high profile kill and maybe I might get some recognition in the community. It isn't very easy to build up your name as a new guy.

Went back to judo on saturday. It's been a long time since I stepped on the dojo. Saw Sherman that day. He looks like a monkey with his hair gone. He must feel like shit. Without his hair, he looks like it too. I went around and told stories about OCS. All the shit that spouted out of my mouth, just came from the internet. I really have no idea how it is like. Apparently, I'm pretty convincing since everyone seems to believe me.

Tomorrow, I will be checking into the ritz carlton. I'm changing hotels everyday for fun. I only go to the five star ones. It is so much fun to annoy the room service people. I will ask for like ten pillows, order all the food, mess up the place, request for free shampoo. It is childish but it's fun. That's the point. For me to relax. For the next month, I don't think I'll have much of that. Better to enjoy myself now.

There's this thing I really gripe about in Malaysia. Its the annoying road signs. Every sign is literally packed with locations and arrows pointing to their respective directions. It really sucks. If I want to find a place, I have to scroll through all the locations. And there are just too many on one sign board. I'd have to slow my car down just to look through the whole list and then, I'd get honked my some proton behind. A god damned proton! Never thought I'd see the day that a proton honk me.

Looks like I've run out of things to say for the moment. I'm expecting the next entry to be maybe a month from now. Hopefully sooner than that.

No more screw ups

The Agency finally contacted me again. They told me I screwed up big time for my first job but frankly, I already expected that. I was so sure they were going to shove me in some useless post that I had actually signed up for the university admission thing. Then, they called me and said they were going to give me another chance. I couldn't believe it at first. They were actually going to let me have another go. Second chances are super rare in the Agency. I've only heard the Agency giving second chances to only two trainees. Of course, as your reputation goes up, they get a bit more lenient. But I'm currently a nobody. They told me that my failure was basically due to bad luck, although I could have done a few things better. Looks like the Fathers gave me a good evaluation. Shouldn't called them assholes so much.

So my next hit is in Malaysia. I haven't gotten all the details yet but I know the deadline is about two months away. Looks like a more complicated job this time. The Agency is sending a Father over again to watch me. A father. Singular. Looks like they have a bit more cinfidence in me now. Going to meet him tomorrow but if he turns out to be another stony bastard, I think i'll cry. Recon on the target will probably take a while. Looks like I have to tell everyone I'm going to OCS. The "three week confinement" will give me lots of time.

Had dim sum with the Don, Clement, Brian and Cumar the other day. That dickhead of a Brian told us to meet him at 9.30am. I was a dickhead enough to trust that he'd actually be on time. To top it all off, the buffet started at 11+. If I had my gun with me, his head would not exist with me anymore. That day, I had expected the so called breakfast to end by noon. I had booked the shooting range at the Agency that day. Brian made me miss by slot! If he only knew how hard it was for a person of my rank in the Agency to get a booking... Never mind. No point getting angry. Although next time, if someone needs a hit on him, I'd do it for free.

Later going over to Naomi's. Supposed to bring some food over. A grapes and carrots salad Cumar suggested. Haha very funny. But that's what I'm going to bring. I'm going to buy it. That's right. That's what you get for making some stupid joke like that. Instead of making it, I'm going to buy it and pass it off as my own. And I think I'm going to buy it from the crappiest place possible. So if they say it actually tastes good, I know they're lying.

Alright then. Going to do a little run to keep my fitness up. Going to need it in Malaysia.

Mostly sick

Not much to report from last time. Didn't do much for the past few days. Got hit by the flu, fever, sorethroat, and everything that comes along with it. Spent much of friday and thursday at home sleeping. Went to Judo on Saturday. That was a bad decision. The whole time, I felt really light-headed. An interesting experience nontheless. It felt really relaxing but suffocating at the same time. I don't really know how to describe it but maybe the closest you can get to that feeling is getting choked. Or the halfway point of being choked. And another thing. The volume of the whole world got turned down that day. Everything was muffled, like somebody stuffed cotton wool in my ears. I still have a bit of that but for that day, it was bad. I kept going "what?" everytime somebody said something. That's why i didn't talk much for dinner. Couldn't bloody hear what people were saying.

Siti's a bitch too. Okay, to be fair, let's say half-bitch. Took my ring and got all childish, refusing to give it back. Normally, I wouldn't mind that much. But that Saturday, being a bit under the weather, she was just pushing my buttons. A quick jab to the throat would've shut her up. and im my light-headed state that day, damned near did that. Quick note to self. Don't go out with people if you're not yourself. My training could get somebody killed.

No word from the higherups yet. I think they may have forgotten about me. Taking university really seriously now. Looking at all the different Unis offering law but the internet's not really helping much. Think I'll end here for now. Still not feeling top form.

Can't sleep

I'm writing this at three forty in the morning, which kinda sucks. I couldn't sleep so what better way to pass the time than to blog? It keeps my mind active and I can rant about how life sucks now. Right now, I'm a bit confused about what I want to do. For the past few nights, I've been having dreams about the kill. They're not pleasant ones. I always wake up halfway through the night after those nightmares. I haven't told anyone yet. Actually, I have nobody to talk to. Can't tell my friends since they don't know what I do and I can't tell the Agency since they'd probably kick me out. I really don't know what to do now. And to top it all off, my nose is giving me a serious problem. Throughout the whole night, I couldn't stop sneezing. Practically used up a whole damned box of tissues.

So what do I do now? Am I even cut out for this kind of work? There is no place for guilt here but right now, I'm having all these nightmares. That's an obvious sign of guilt right? But there's nothing to be guilty about actually. All the hits and all the kills, it's just business. People do business all the time. I just specialise in a trade that is not so publically accepted. The hits are just business transactions. It's nothing. Just like buying anything at a supermarket. And that son of a bitch deserved it anyway. He stole somebody's money and he paid for it. An eye for an eye. Enough of this emo bullshit. I'm sounding like a pussy.

On a more serious note, there still hasn't been any word from the Agency. Maybe it's just me being anxious but that evalutaion seems to be taking a very long time. There hasn't been any news from Number 1 or the Fathers yet. If my evaluation is screwed up, I might actually have to take university seriously. There is no way I'm going to be a bottom feeder in the Agency. One good thing has happened so far though. The money has already been transferred to my bank account. It's enough to last me for a couple of months, if I spend wisely. I allowed myself a little bit of indulgence yesterday.

Finally watched 300 and with all the money I had, I bought ten seats just for the fun of it. Had one big area to myself. The movie was awesome. Totally worth the money. Too bad I had to watch it alone. Wish some of my buddies could have been there.

I supposedly had my POP today. Now, my whole week will be free to hang out with everybody and anybody. There's not much to do anyway except wait for the evaluation and it's highly unlikely I get another contract within this week. Now that I've "POPed", I've got to decide on where I'm going to be posted to. Should I tell everyone I'm going to OCS? Or maybe something normal like signals or artillery. I'll see first. If another job pops up, my cover story will be that I'm going to OCS. There's supposed to be a three week confinement period for OCS so that will give me lots of time for a contract.

This ends my current blogging session. Hopefully, I can get some shuteye now.

First Blood

I did it. Mission accomplished. Objective met. I made my first kill. It didn't go as good as I planned it but at least the target is dead. The kill was... I don't know really. It has been a day and I'm still shaking. The Fathers say it's normal for a first kill. That's about the only thing they said to me that day. It wouldn't have been so bad if I had used a bomb or a gun but I used a blade. I went up close and took a life. There is no guilt. I think. Damn it. I'm trained for this shit. Six years of training to turn me into a weapon. There shouldn't be any of these stupid feelings. I live for this. I'm made for this. There is no backing out now. Enough of this nonsense. The job is done.

All I have to do now is wait for my paycheck and the evaluation. Hopefully, my performance wasn't a total disaster. Heck, it wasn't really my fault things got so screwed up. I mean, who the hell would be awake at three in the morning? I watched the target for close to a week and never in that period did he wake up at three. Even the Ear couldn't anticipate that. And for some unknown reason, my target had chosen to change the lock for that day. That made the key I had made useless. Spent a good five minutes trying to pick that lock. What was really messed up was the actual kill. I was supposed to sneak in and give one good jab to the back of the neck. I got in stealthily, got right behind him... and then some stupid baby from don't know where decided to start crying. Does God hate me or does God hate me? My target turned just as I stabbed. The knife went into his throat and there was blood everywhere. The worst part was that he didn't die immediately. He ran all over the place and even managed to stagger ten meters from his flat before dying.

Thank God for the Cleaners. If the Agency hadn't hired them, I have no idea how I would have gotten out of that mess. The Fathers obviously weren't impressed. Even though they were observing from pretty far off, I'm sure they saw the entire cock up. Hopefully, they would just report that it was plain old bad luck that screwed things up. If not, I'm screwed. If they give a bad report, I will either be stuck in the admin department for the rest of my life or I'd be working for the Ear, which is not a fun job at all. At least the Fathers are gone now. They were really annoying. I couldn't even take a leak without feeling watched when they were around.

300. Haven't watched it yet. Argh! Yesterday was just rush rush rush. No time at all for a movie. After the kill, spent half the day doing paperwork. Writing a report and all that stuff. I would've thought an establishment like the Agency wouldn't care about that nonsense but apparently, I was wrong. After the report, I had news from the Ear that some of the judo people would be at the NUS open house. Why the hell did they have to go to open house? Waste of time really. But I had to be there since I told some of them I would be going. So I "accidentally" bumped into them. There went my time to watch 300. Really, if people are unsure on what they want to do and want to see what is offered at open houses, they are essentially screwed. Some people just have no direction in life. Losers. But still, can't really blame the judo people. I mean, they don't have a fallback career like me so I guess they have to take the whole studies thing seriously.

So after that, I thought maybe I could rush to watch 300 and get some dinner. Then Sherman comes along and says he's going training. WTH!? That means I had to go. I had the image as the "enthu" judoka so that means I obviously had to go. At the rate things are going, I think I may never watch 300. And I may be right about that. This morning, woke up really late. Went to judo again in the afternoon and got my ass served to me on a platter. Thrown like a ragdoll. Didn't want to go but had to maintain a believable cover.

Now, I'm going to "book in". That leaves me free from my cover life till thursday. Hopefully till then, I won't have any stupid disturbances. Then I can finally catch the movie.

Bad bad week

Here is my weekly update. As the title says, it has been a pretty shitty week. Mainly because of three things. The first of which concerns my target. Everything was going fine till three days ago. My target was still being blissfully ignorant about the bounty on his head until a few amateurs went after him. They probably were hired by another person he pissed off. And when I say amateurs, I really mean amateurs. They were wielding knives and chasing after him for christ's sake! A total disgrace to my profession. I seriously don't know what the hell they were thinking. Chasing my target with knives down the street in broad daylight! Good news was my target managed to escape. Bad news is, he finally got paranoid and has holed himself up in his apartment. I can still do the hit. Just that it'll be harder. Damned amateurs.

Another thing that spoilt my week was the inclusion of two Fathers. I know it is standard protocol to attach a Father to every new assassin but I got two! I'm sure my trainee phase was pretty okay. I don't think I've done anything to warrant two Fathers watching over me. Most people only get one Father to observe their first hit. Does Number 1 think I'm too lousy? I'll show him. And those Fathers are really intimidating. They don't say anything at all unless absolutely necessary. Not even a simple "Good morning". And they stare. They stare at everything I do and take down notes. Super stressing. And my deadline is today. I'm just doing this post right before I begin my operation. That's what I'm calling it. It's an operation.

So much time has been spent planning. Too much time maybe. I was so damned busy, I couldn't even catch "300". I really, really, really want to watch that show. The trailer is just so kickass. And I love the whole ancient greek thing. I need to see 300 spartans kicking persian ass. Been waiting a few months for the movie and now that it's out, I'm too busy to watch it. Once I finish the operation, I'm going to watch "300" immediately. That will be my motivation for carrying out the operation successfully.

And there was this incident yesterday that I just have to post. I had just finished my surveillance for the day and it was just past two in the morning. I was taking a little walk just for the fun of it down Orchard Road, with the Fathers tailing a few meters behind of course. Then, the most unbelievable thing happened. Some guy ran up to me and kicked me in the balls. Some random guy that I don't even know. My balls hurt like hell. And the ridiculous thing is, that guy was holding a handheld camera and filimg the whole incident. He told me he was doing a documentary of some sort and asked how I felt. I seriously almost killed the asshole. If it wasn't a public place, that son of a bitch would be sleeping with the fishes. I tried to grab the guy but he ran off and I couldn't chase him because my balls were on fire. And the Fathers didn't do anything either. They just looked at me. Never even asked if I needed help or anything. Just my luck.

Not much time left. Got to get into position before my target wakes up. The Arm provided a very good blade for the job. She always knows the perfect weapon to use. Watch out for my next post. It'll be about how the whole operation went.

Work and play

Today was good. I managed to do my work and had my fun. A nice balance of both I'd have to say. Went to have a good look at my target for the first time today. Followed my target in the morning. I had asked the Ear to do a bit of asking around me yesterday so I already knew where my target lived and roughly what he did everyday. Cocky bugger. Doesn't even bother to go and hide after what he did. The idiot walks around without a care in the world and just spends all that cash he stole. Followed him till lunch. The Ear did a pretty good job. My target pretty much did everything the Ear said he would.

Went to judo after that. Fun stuff. Judo is fun and one of the few things I like about my cover life. I'm getting quite attached to the people in judo. I know I shouldn't and it's just a cover but I can't help it. The people there are fun and I've known them for a damn long time. They're all good people. If I have to change cover, I think I'm going to miss them. Anyway, training was slack. Did a little bit here and there. After training, did a little of extra PT. No kick but had to act tired, to fool all of them. Think I'll do a little more exercise later before I sleep.

Ate dinner with the judokas after that. Well, sort of. More like I watched them eat dinner. Can't compromise on food or all my physical training would go to waste. Always have to keep fit in my line of work. Especially so now, since I've gotten my first contract. Talked a bit and did all the social stuff expected of me. Then, made some excuse of having to go. Had to continue my recon of the target. But, as luck would have it, Naomi wanted to go off too. Wasted my bloody time. I had to walk with her to the bus stop and take a bus. They all think I stay in the newton area so I had to take a bus going to newton. If she hadn't left with me, I could have gotten a cab and gone straight back to recon on the target. Wasted about ten minutes there.

Still, I managed to track some of the target's movements in the night. He's quite stagnant at night. Likes to stay in his HDB flat and watch TV. Gotta follow him again tomorrow to make sure his pattern is regular. Won't be fun tailing the whole day but the job calls for it. As much as I trust the Ear's intel, shit still happens.

Tomorrow, I will be "booking in". Gives me another free week to do my work. Just hope I don't run into anybody I know when doing recon. Still haven't thought up of a cover story if that happens. Better start brainstorming for ideas. Think I'll just spend a few more days of recon and collecting intel. No point overdoing it. I just want to get the kill over and done with and move onto something bigger. Got to show Number 1 I'm capable.

Here is a personal reminder to myself to go visit the Arm tomorrow. She says she has a new blade to show me. She just collected it two days ago and might be just perfect for this job. Well, I'll decide when I see it.